Category: Personal

After almost 2 years, I finally saw the person responsible for our vehicular accident. I’ve heard so many things about him. Negative things to be exact. Aside from the fact that he did not help us when we were thrown at the embankment (obviously hurt, rain pouring hard and our children crying), he did not even ask how we were when he went to the hospital. All he said to my husband was, “Nka-compre ka nman diba?” (He was referring to our comprehensive insurance).

Despite his behavior, we agreed that he will just shoulder the hospital bill just to make us feel that he did not abandon us. In short ‘pampalubag-loob.’ We just wanted to move on with our lives and forget about everything. The important thing for us is that we are all safe. But what he did was, he gave P40k and that’s it. 3 adults and 3 children were hospitalized plus the fact that I was under general anaesthesia during my knee surgery and he would think that that amount would be enough. We should have paid for it instead (part of it will be taken cared of insurance anyway). We were not asking for financial assistance, we were expecting him to be responsible for what happened. That made us decide to file a case instead.

To be honest, I want to move on and forget about all these. Each session that we attend reminds me of the FEAR, PAIN and ANGER that I felt that day because I can’t imagine how some people can really be mean. Plus the fact that I almost lost one or more family member/s. And I don’t have a choice but to remember every detail of it because when in case we would be asked, we should be prepared.

The encounter yesterday with Mr. Michael R. Tiqui (from Bulacan) made me realize that it would take more time for us to move on.

So many things are running on my mind and I just have to let it all out;

1. I have this diary/organizer where I list all my activities for the day. The more items checked, the more accomplished I feel. But lately, I noticed that items on my list are not directly related to work; Kumon, Taekwondo, bank, grocery, bills. In short, I’ve been busy driving for my kids and running errands. It’s so frustrating! But at the end of the day, I have to keep reminding myself that my family is more important than work and I should be thankful for the privilege of being a hands-on mom/wife.

2. I am a considerate and generous person and some people tend to abuse. I cannot tolerate those people. They wouldn’t hear a thing from me but they’ve cut for sure what could have been more.

3. A good friend just gave me ref magnets from Singapore, Malaysia and Korea. I LOVE ref magnets! I started collecting during my work-related local travels. So when I go to Singapore this July I don’t have to buy anymore… uhm maybe one from Universal Studios lol.

4. Speaking of travel, I can’t wait to pack our bags again and go. I am excited to see Singapore and Malaysia for the first time and hopefully Indonesia as well. But to be honest, after this, I don’t know when’s next. Traveling is expensive. All I can do is put my hands together and pray for more. Btw, I’ve seen a batch mate at St. Petersburg and instantly I fell in love with the place. Aaaarrrgggg…

5. I miss reading. It’s one of the things I REALLY love. No time is not an excuse of course. I’ve proven last year that at least 10 pages before sleep is workable. I’ve read a lot of books last year. I have to buy myself a book one of these days. Or maybe re-read some I have at home. I just have to start reading again. Period.

I don’t have a perfect life (if there’s such a thing). Blessings and answered prayers come in abundance and so are problems and challenges. But today as I turn 34, I can say that I am already a fulfilled woman. I know my kids are still young and I feel that God isn’t done with me yet, but there is so much contentment and happiness in my heart that I cannot ask for more. It feels like the rest of my years alive will be bonus already.

God has been using me not mainly on what I am good at but more on what he sees in my heart. All these things that are happening to me today is not what I pictured myself years ago. I underestimated God. Who I am today is not my own doing, I feel Him working in my life. All I did was pray (hard), wait, keep my feet on the ground, share my blessings and keep the faith.

When I am overwhelmed (and I feel too blessed to even think about complaining), I take it one day at a time.

When I cannot imagine how to finish (or even start) a big project,  I take it one step at a time.

When I am faced with problems that push me to just quit everything, I stop thinking and ask God for help.

I have accepted the fact that as much as I would want to be as positive as possible, there are people or things that will make me (almost) fall apart. And there’s only one thing that will help me go through them and go on with life… FAITH IN GOD.

I thank God because however difficult my day has been, I survive it with my loved ones.

It never fails.

If I have to live the year 2011 all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I have learned so many things and proved once again that I can do more than I can imagine. I am a businesswoman, tutor, driver and a student while being a full time mom and wife. Best thing about all these, Gary and I are ‘growing-up’ with our kids.

God has blessed us tremendously, not just with material things and travel opportunities but more importantly the difficulties and challenges that came our way. For one, having a business does not guarantee a regular income. Clients come and go. If I would think about the future, it would be too scary. But I did not allow those future worries affect my present, on the contrary, it made me more thankful of what I have now and just live each day at a time. It’s not easy but it can be done. Looking back, I haven’t faced yet those things that were causing all my worries and I don’t think I ever will because of God’s perfect timing.

Now 2012 looks even brighter. May the Lord continue to bless, teach and use all of us to fulfill His will.

Let’s do good and live a good life.

According to my dictionary, the word PROUD connotes two things, it can be positive or negative. Proud can be defined as a feeling or showing justifiable self-respect. Likewise, it can also mean being filled with or showing excessive self-esteem. Sadly though, when dealing with self and others, it’s hard to draw a line between the two.

This bothers me because I personally don’t like conceited and arrogant people. More importantly, I don’t want to be branded as one. I know a lot of people who share a lot of things about themselves; their success, purchases, travels etc. but I don’t find them conceited. On the contrary, the more I look up to them. There are people, on the other hand, who would mention something and it sounds to me like they’re blowing their own horn. Maybe because some things are too obvious and better left unsaid, or maybe its the way they say it, the timing or maybe because I don’t know them too well.

All these bring me to one question, am I conceited? I know people close to me won’t think that way because it’s not really my nature. I just wish other people who can read my writings, blogs, tweets or see the pictures I post won’t think of me that way. I just love to share things about me especially those that made me and is making me happy even to the point of influencing them to do the same. But just in case I’m bordering to being conceited, though honestly not my purpose, I hope someone would tell me so.

My son and nephew enjoy our spelling game. They usually spell the words correctly while I correct those they missed. Sometimes my nephew would say, ‘I can’t spell it, it’s a BIG word for me.’ So I’ll just give him another one to spell.

When I started reading the ‘Secrets of the Millionaire Mind’ I realized that I have my own set of big words as well. It’s not about spelling of course (though I’m not really fond of it hehe), but words that seems so hard for me to handle. TRUST for one. It’s the main reason why I want to be in control of things and doesn’t want to entrust my life to anybody 100%. I finished my education, got a job and did good with my profession because I want to have a fall back whatever happens. I don’t think it’s wrong of course, but I realized that I did it for the wrong reason. Fear (of the future) is my strong motivation which should be/have been happiness and fulfillment. Even the time I quit my job, I know the business can sustain us or else I wouldn’t risk it. I can talk endless about my trust issues but I guess I have to deal with it myself.

I just want to share a story from the book I’m reading because it made me smile.

It’s about a man who is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the ledge and he’s hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs and finally yells out,”Is there anybody up there who can help me?” There’s no answer. He keeps calling and calling, “Is there anybody up there who can help me?” Finally this big bellowing voice calls back, “This is God. I can help you. Just let go and trust. Next thing you hear: “Is there anybody else up there who can help me?”

Wapak! Hit me big time. With this, I want to remove worry and fear from my vocabulary and replace it with risk, growth and more faith. They’re equally big words but I am willing to learn.

Oprah_World tweets “You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.”

I agree. I remember Gary telling me in Venice that my dreams have been fulfilled already. Those dreams don’t have to be big dreams, they can be simple and ordinary to some but fulfilling for me. I told him with wide grin that it only means one thing, I have to create another set.

Just recently I was thinking that it would be nice to spend a birthday or holiday in one of Discovery Suites’ big rooms. I did not push the idea. Days after, an agent called me up offering me Discovery Suite membership with numerous perks. I prayed, “Oh God, that was fast!” It was simple yet sweet.

Big or small, I encounter these answered prayers everyday. Of course I won’t see them if I let worries, fear and problems overcome me. I count my blessings. Contrary to what Gary said, I still have a number of dreams waiting to be fulfilled, not to mention those I’ve added on the list. Just a reminder, when an answered prayer comes, it doesn’t usually come in the form you’re expecting. In those times, also pray for wisdom and understanding.

So how do I get what I want, here’s a list.

1. When I ask God, I’m specific.
2. I hold on to my dreams because, unimaginable as it is today, it can really happen in the future. I don’t know how, but God makes it happen.
3. I always remind myself to be generous, kind, considerate, humble and thankful.
4. I pray wherever and whenever I feel the urge… for whatever reason.
5. Despite all the negative things happening around… I keep the faith.

The rest is up to Him. God will either answer it immediately, delay it for the perfect time or give me something better. What more can I ask for?

When we went to Paris I was almost 100% sure that I’ll buy myself a Louis Vuitton bag. Well, why not? It’s really a lot cheaper there plus I believe I deserve one. And mind you, Gary was even PUSHING me to it. But when I was at the shop already, guess what? (don’t hate me for this) I decided not to buy anything at all. I realized that I may have saved a couple of bucks but still I’m going to spend at least 1,500 euros. For that amount I really have to WANT that thing for myself. So I asked myself, why would I want an LV bag? Is it to have my picture taken in front of an LV store holding an LV paper bag? To wear that one-and-only precious bag on special occassions and show other people that I can afford an LV bag? To be able to buy something from the trip. Ahhh too shallow for a reason.

Unlike travelling which may have cost us a fortune (with a not-so-decent savings), but we did it because it gave us fulfillment plus we really want our kids to be exposed to different cultures because it would give them an edge. We don’t travel to give an impression that we can afford a european trip and we’re living an easy life.

So I told myself that I’ll only buy LV if I reached the social status that would allow me to buy 2-3 LV bags at the same time without batting an eyelash. If I wouldn’t reach that lifestyle, I wouldn’t mind not owning one at all.

An LV replica is neither an option. I’d better use something nobody knows yet people would be wondering about.

Do you remember the time when you were asked to sit still or stand in the corner because you’ve been a handful all day? When we were kids, we don’t understand why our parents would give us time-outs when all we could think about is to run all over the place, jump, scatter toys, draw, ask questions, laugh boisterously… endless.

At 33, I feel that way. It feels like God is asking me to stay still when all I could think about is move. I want to take up programming, learn something new, finish work and do more, visit our satellite office, go to places, travel more, gym, facial… endless.

What’s stopping me is for one Lia doesn’t have yaya. I have to baby sit all day. In between I would fetch the kids from school, do errands, help kids with homework and prepare food. It wouldn’t be too hard if I don’t have work to do. Another thing, since we just came from a vacation, it’s not feasible to just plan for another travel even if I want to. But you see, travel for me is addicting. Not shopping but travel. If money is not an issue, I would love to go to Singapore-Thailand-Malaysia and Australia this year. Then next year we’ll be back to Europe to perhaps visit London again (Zach and Lia’s first time) or another Euro trip to Amsterdam, Spain and Greece. Dream… dream… dream.

As of now, not that I’m naughty, I decided to be a good child and follow what God wants me to do… stay still, relax, think, wait and enjoy the company of my family full time.