It’s a little bit weird seeing everyone so busy buying items for exchange gifts and preparing for Christmas party while I am busy paying bills, thinking about what to serve on the table and buying what my children and husband needs. Well, you see, I have been a corporate slave since 2001 and my body seems to be looking for that Christmas rush. I may still have a couple of things to buy this Christmas like gifts for family, relatives and godchildren, not to mention Santa Claus’ list for Zach, (Marcus already knows about it so he just gets a gift from me) but there’s no rush for it, knowing that I have all the time in the world.
This made me realize that being a full time housewife is a lot more serious decision than I thought it would be. Being at home and not knowing when to be back in the corporate world (that is if I’ll ever be back), the world I have known for many years, is like losing that grip of who I am as a person. Or should I say who I used to be for so long. I did not realize that changing careers would be like changing personalities.
Staying at home is a lot more complicated, though compensation is beyond monetary terms. You don’t get any appraisal at the end of the year, meaning you don’t get any feedback of how you are as a mother and wife. I guess those can be realized after you see your children grow up and learn who they come to be in the future. Risky, yes, but when they start telling stories to you like a friend does to another or just kiss and hug you for no reason at all, it all becomes worth it.
I am now in the midst of thinking if I should not lose that grip of being a corporate person or finally accept that my future is geared towards serving my kids and husband’s needs full time. I don’t have any answer yet, but I know God has been leading me to where I should be. I guess it’s all a matter of patience and acceptance.