So many things are running on my mind and I just have to let it all out;

1. I have this diary/organizer where I list all my activities for the day. The more items checked, the more accomplished I feel. But lately, I noticed that items on my list are not directly related to work; Kumon, Taekwondo, bank, grocery, bills. In short, I’ve been busy driving for my kids and running errands. It’s so frustrating! But at the end of the day, I have to keep reminding myself that my family is more important than work and I should be thankful for the privilege of being a hands-on mom/wife.

2. I am a considerate and generous person and some people tend to abuse. I cannot tolerate those people. They wouldn’t hear a thing from me but they’ve cut for sure what could have been more.

3. A good friend just gave me ref magnets from Singapore, Malaysia and Korea. I LOVE ref magnets! I started collecting during my work-related local travels. So when I go to Singapore this July I don’t have to buy anymore… uhm maybe one from Universal Studios lol.

4. Speaking of travel, I can’t wait to pack our bags again and go. I am excited to see Singapore and Malaysia for the first time and hopefully Indonesia as well. But to be honest, after this, I don’t know when’s next. Traveling is expensive. All I can do is put my hands together and pray for more. Btw, I’ve seen a batch mate at St. Petersburg and instantly I fell in love with the place. Aaaarrrgggg…

5. I miss reading. It’s one of the things I REALLY love. No time is not an excuse of course. I’ve proven last year that at least 10 pages before sleep is workable. I’ve read a lot of books last year. I have to buy myself a book one of these days. Or maybe re-read some I have at home. I just have to start reading again. Period.

I don’t have a perfect life (if there’s such a thing). Blessings and answered prayers come in abundance and so are problems and challenges. But today as I turn 34, I can say that I am already a fulfilled woman. I know my kids are still young and I feel that God isn’t done with me yet, but there is so much contentment and happiness in my heart that I cannot ask for more. It feels like the rest of my years alive will be bonus already.

God has been using me not mainly on what I am good at but more on what he sees in my heart. All these things that are happening to me today is not what I pictured myself years ago. I underestimated God. Who I am today is not my own doing, I feel Him working in my life. All I did was pray (hard), wait, keep my feet on the ground, share my blessings and keep the faith.

When I am overwhelmed (and I feel too blessed to even think about complaining), I take it one day at a time.

When I cannot imagine how to finish (or even start) a big project,  I take it one step at a time.

When I am faced with problems that push me to just quit everything, I stop thinking and ask God for help.

I have accepted the fact that as much as I would want to be as positive as possible, there are people or things that will make me (almost) fall apart. And there’s only one thing that will help me go through them and go on with life… FAITH IN GOD.

I thank God because however difficult my day has been, I survive it with my loved ones.

It never fails.

If I have to live the year 2011 all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I have learned so many things and proved once again that I can do more than I can imagine. I am a businesswoman, tutor, driver and a student while being a full time mom and wife. Best thing about all these, Gary and I are ‘growing-up’ with our kids.

God has blessed us tremendously, not just with material things and travel opportunities but more importantly the difficulties and challenges that came our way. For one, having a business does not guarantee a regular income. Clients come and go. If I would think about the future, it would be too scary. But I did not allow those future worries affect my present, on the contrary, it made me more thankful of what I have now and just live each day at a time. It’s not easy but it can be done. Looking back, I haven’t faced yet those things that were causing all my worries and I don’t think I ever will because of God’s perfect timing.

Now 2012 looks even brighter. May the Lord continue to bless, teach and use all of us to fulfill His will.

Let’s do good and live a good life.

According to my dictionary, the word PROUD connotes two things, it can be positive or negative. Proud can be defined as a feeling or showing justifiable self-respect. Likewise, it can also mean being filled with or showing excessive self-esteem. Sadly though, when dealing with self and others, it’s hard to draw a line between the two.

This bothers me because I personally don’t like conceited and arrogant people. More importantly, I don’t want to be branded as one. I know a lot of people who share a lot of things about themselves; their success, purchases, travels etc. but I don’t find them conceited. On the contrary, the more I look up to them. There are people, on the other hand, who would mention something and it sounds to me like they’re blowing their own horn. Maybe because some things are too obvious and better left unsaid, or maybe its the way they say it, the timing or maybe because I don’t know them too well.

All these bring me to one question, am I conceited? I know people close to me won’t think that way because it’s not really my nature. I just wish other people who can read my writings, blogs, tweets or see the pictures I post won’t think of me that way. I just love to share things about me especially those that made me and is making me happy even to the point of influencing them to do the same. But just in case I’m bordering to being conceited, though honestly not my purpose, I hope someone would tell me so.

I’ve always wanted to drive. I don’t like the idea of me at the back of the car with a driver on the wheels because I want to be the one driving. So imagine how excited I was when finally I enrolled myself to a driving school 3 years ago, even if I was pregnant with Lia. Learning to drive manual wasn’t easy. It came to a point when I was about to accept the fact that my driving will be limited to short distances. But because Gary was becoming too busy to drive for me and my need to go to places was increasing, not to mention the need to bring/fetch the kids to/from school, I made an extra effort to really learn how to be a good driver. And (I think) I became one.

Driving an automatic was a piece of cake. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to last long. Now I drive a manual (SUV) again.

I find freedom in driving. I prefer city driving, though, than long drive perhaps because of the trauma I had from the accident. The idea of driving to bring my loved ones to where they ought to go (even Gary for meetings) and fetch them excites me.

Maybe its the joy of being the one in control of the wheels while singing my favorite song on the radio that makes all the effort seems effortless.

As the line from Eraserhead’s famous song Overdrive goes… ‘magda-drive ako hanggang… buwan!’

I have an Obsessive-compulsive disorder. No specialist confirmed it but I think that my control-freak attitude is enough evidence already. I am not much of the ‘house should always be in order’ type of OC. With 3 children around, I am just thankful I’m not. But when I work or study, I want things around me arranged and fixed accordingly before I could start anything. Problem is, I tend to control things and even the life of my loved ones. As much as I would want to protect them, I realized that they need to go through the process and not block them from experiencing life.

They say that people with OCD feel strong urges to do certain things repeatedly — called rituals or compulsions — in order to stop the scary thoughts or to try to ward off the bad thing they dread, or to make extra sure that things are safe or clean or right.

Based on the site www.helpguide.org, most people with obsessive-compulsive disorder fall into one of the following categories:

1. Washers are afraid of contamination. They usually have cleaning or hand-washing compulsions.
2. Checkers repeatedly check things (oven turned off, door locked, etc.) that they associate with harm or danger.
3. Doubters and sinners are afraid that if everything isn’t perfect or done just right something terrible will happen or they will be punished.
4. Counters and arrangers are obsessed with order and symmetry. They may have superstitions about certain numbers, colors, or arrangements.
5. Hoarders fear that something bad will happen if they throw anything away. They compulsively hoard things that they don’t need or use.

I am a washer because I want to wash my hands most of the time because clean hands give me a sense of satisfaction. I am also a doubter because I feel that when I’m not on top of things, something bad might happen and I have myself to blame. I also have the tendency to be a hoarder because it’s so hard for me to give up some things I should be throwing already. But above all, I think I strongly fall into number 2, the checker, for the following reasons:

1. I excessively double-checks things such as locks, appliances, and switches. Also, important documents and possessions. Yeah, weird, but true!
2. Repeatedly checks on loved ones to make sure they’re safe. For this I thank the person who invented cellular phones and internet.
3. Wants to be on top of things to be sure that loved ones and belongings are protected.
4. Needs re-assurance

I need to know all these because embracing my OCness makes me feel normal despite my abnormal actions and feelings.

My life has changed significantly. Being an employee a couple of years ago (even in a multinational company having a position one step away from managerial level), I was struggling to make ends meet. Putting together our salaries as a couple, I could only balance compensation and expenses with the aid of loans and credit card. I must say life was hard then. We were renting an apartment and no car or any asset to feel secured about.

At 32, I manage an IT business with my husband. He does the marketing and technical stuff, I do the risk management and accounting. Funny how we discuss family concerns and then shift to business operations whenever we had the chance. Also, both of us enjoy family time every single day. We adore our kids. Our marriage has never been better. There are times when we feel ovewhelmed with all the responsibilities we have to perform but we never complain. We have received so much blessings already and the year has just started.

Modesty aside, our family’s buying power has improved a lot. We could eat whatever we want anytime anywhere, buy signature items and gadgets, throw parties, plan for travel, pamper ourselves and invest more without batting an eyelash. Best of all, we can now extend help to those who are in need and so happy to be a blessing to others.

I can say that we’re not yet rich but we are well provided. We don’t have much but we are not scared to spend money to enjoy life and provide help.

Lessons learned over the years:

1. Life is not perfect and not a fairy tale but it is fair.
2. Don’t hold on to your money (or any material things) because God provides more than you can imagine.
3. Let tomorrow worry about itself.
4. Karma (good or bad) is fast.
5. Blessings are meant to overflow to others.

My life definitely began at 30.

I have been trained in Risk-based Audit and one of those things that really struck me was what they call the ‘Fraud Triangle.’ Simply put, it explains the three things that makes any person commit fraud. I want to share this because for sure anyone of you doesn’t want to be intentionally deceived.

1. Opportunity
Remember this: Where there is unrestricted access to assets, there is opportunity. Assets can be characterized as cash, goods, inventory, personal records and so on. So you need to have an adequate set of internal controls to prevent fraud from happening.

2. Pressure
Pressure can be as petty as peer pressure or wanting to be on top of everyone in terms of material things to serious matters such as extensive debt, drug addiction and gambling.

3. Rationalization
Some rationalization examples are as follows;
“I don’t know how to face my family when they learn that we’ll lose our home, car, everything”
“I really need this money now and I know I can pay before anyone notices”
“I deserve more than what’s in my paycheck”

So you see, the perpetrator doesn’t have to have a ‘bad reputation’ because with these 3 factors present, even the best person you know can be one of them.

My husband and I are planning to go back to Europe, this time bringing along not only Marcus but also Zach and Lia. We are planning to do it on May next year so that kids are on summer vacation. It was supposed to be April in time for our anniversary and my birthday but I thought it would be better to go after Easter. I am tasked by my husband to make the itinerary and to estimate our travel budget. Though I am now checking out some travel deals, I still find it too early to book flights and accommodation (not to mention the visa application). So I just noted down the planned date and corresponding location. I also have a rough estimate on the budget but I’d rather not post.

Initially, we were planning for a London-Paris-Germany-Switzerland-Italy trip. Then looking at the map, we realized that we could go to Greece by boat from Italy, so it became London-Paris-Italy-Greece. But then as I was checking out Italy, I realized that it’s better for us to explore that country first rather than tightening our budget and schedule to fit in Greece.

So the final plan, so far, of what I call the great travel 2011 is as follows:

May 2 – Flight to London
May 3-4 London
May 5 – Train to Paris
May 6-10 Paris
May 11 Train to Italy
May 12-18 Italy (Milan-Venice-Rome)

I still don’t have any idea if we’ll go back to Manila via Italy or we’ll go back to London so that we can just get a roundtrip Mla-London-Mla.

More so, I don’t know if I can handle 3 kids that long and that far. I don’t want to spoil the fun though of planning by worrying about that.

So, that’s it. I’ll make updates as soon as changes/improvements have been made.

To God be the Glory!