I know that one factor that made matters worse was when a parent wrote a letter to the Principal and PTA Officers to petition Marcus out of the school, treating my son like a monster. The adviser admitted that the parent was a bit over-acting. I humbly asked the adviser that I am open to a discussion so that the parents could hear my and my son’s side of the story. They didn’t ask for one which made me more convinced that those parents didn’t care a bit about my son.

I would have wanted to pull-out Zach as well but Zach was doing good and he likes the school so I cannot really sacrifice that just because I had a bad experience with my other son. But given the chance, I really would.

I just have a few message to those parents and concerned CSA educators;

1. I thank you because you made me realize that I shouldn’t have entrusted my son to CSA in the first place. I just thought that I enrolled my son to the best school within the vicinity. I was so wrong. Australian International School (previously Esteban school) is way way better than your curriculum and more importantly in how they handle children like Marcus. Marcus’ class is composed of less than 15 students. In Grade Six they are taught World History (instead of repeating Philippine history every year), Spanish or Mandarin, computer programming and advanced lessons in major subjects. They offer clubs without additional fee so now Marcus plays soccer and basketball on top of his PE. They believe in Marcus and they never branded him.

2. To the parents. You may have succeeded your way of protecting your child from one bully (which is what they think of Marcus), without thinking about my child’s future. Let me just remind you that there will always be a bully around your child, even after school. Protecting him/her that way will make your child weak and dependent. My child is not a monster. ‘Bullies’ need help not judgement from people like you. Besides, we’re doing something about Marcus’ condition. He doesn’t want to be like that.

3. To CSA, what about your anti-bully campaign? Is it to kick those bullies out instead of helping them? Or are you just scared of letting the ‘more powerful parents’ down. Letting them ‘bully’ you.

I don’t say Marcus has changed a lot already. It will be a process. But I can see that AIS family loves him. I pray that it will finally be Marcus’ second home.

Zach, on the other hand, is a born achiever. Like Marcus, I never pushed him to be the cream of the crop but he chose to be one. Best about it, he seems not to exert effort at all. Being an honor student for him is ‘as if’ a normal thing. He nags me to do homework and he loves to read. Funny because at times he won’t believe what I ask him to do unless he reads it from the diary himself.

Modesty aside, I have intelligent kids. Even Lia, I can see potential in her. She’s interested with numbers and letters already. She can pick up words and ideas easily. It’s my kids’ attitude, interests and motivation that differ. Sometimes I think maybe not being there all the time for Marcus during his growing up years (because I was still working then) could have been a factor, but I cannot really blame myself because we needed additional source of income at that time. Well, at least I gave up work before its too late. My only dream for my kids is that they become the best that they can be and I’ll do my best to ensure that.

Before 2010 ended, I reconsidered enrolling my boys to Kumon for a different reason this time. Both of them are glued on tv or computer games that they need to have something worth while to do everyday. I chose math not because they need help on that subject, (actually both of them are good at it thanks to their parent’s genes hehe) but because I want them to be confident with it and hopefully do advanced Math in no time. It would definitely help them minimize time doing calculations during exam and have more time analyzing. Also, when time comes that they have to take entrance exams, math would be a piece of cake.

So for those who are still wondering if they should enrol their child or not, here are some things one should consider:

1. Kumon is not a quick fix, if your child badly needs help and is failing already, he needs a tutor not Kumon.

2. It is not a short term activity. You cannot just enrol your child for a few months (like summer vacation) and expect to see improvement.

3. It is a commitment to both child and parent. Kumon requires the child to attend twice a week sessions and answer worksheets everyday for them to master the subject matter in terms of speed and accuracy. (It makes sense because Math is perfect Science and that practice makes perfect). So if you don’t have time to ensure that kids attend their sessions and do their daily worksheet, it defeats the purpose.

4. Once enrolled, your child usually starts two or more levels below his actual school level and as a parent you should not be alarmed. Like for instance he’s already doing fractions in school, he may start with addition first because in terms of speed and accuracy he has not mastered it yet. (Level is identified through a diagnostic test).

5. It is not a substitute to regular school.

Lastly, I suggest you attend the orientation so that all your questions will be answered. But for the mean time, I hope this article somehow helped you realize if you have the right reason/s to enrol your child.

And then my mother’s words came to me like an answer to all the questions that’s been bothering me. She said, ‘There’s a big difference with you running the house instead of housemaids doing it.’

Since I was a child, I’ve convinced myself not to be a full-time housewife. Not because I thought of it as a menial job, but because I was afraid that I couldn’t match, more so surpass, the sacrifice that my mother did to bring up her 4 children.

Yet now I see myself doing exactly what she was doing decades ago. And it scares me.

It scares me because what if with all the effort that I am exerting just to meet my children’s different needs, I would still end up a failure in bringing out the best in them.

And even if they all grew up the persons they are destined to be, I’m scared to find myself searching for an identity because my children are all grown up and doesn’t need me the way they do now.

Above all, it scares me because for the first time I am not in control of my future.

To start, I just want to share some of my thoughts every morning as I bring my kids to school. Actually, it’s not much of a thought but just an observation because my brain is still half awake having to rise 6 in the morning. Inside the elevator or outside the parking lot I would see employees, most of them in a hurry, on their corporate attire with laptop bags hanging on their shoulders. Women are wearing their make-up trying to conceal the tired look on their faces. I used to be like that and used to think that life should be like that.

On the other hand, there I was still with bed lines on my face, wearing shirt and shorts, carrying (or pulling) school bag in one hand and holding my son’s hand on the other, also in a hurry to make sure kids won’t be late. People look at me and I wonder what they’re thinking. Sometimes it’s a humbling experience. Sometimes it makes me proud. Nobody knows I gave up my career to spend more time with my children. It is a privilege, not a sacrifice.

I have to admit I miss wearing slacks, blazer and boots. I miss putting on a light make-up and perfume to make sure that I’m at my best having to deal with different people everyday. I miss having friends at the office and looking forward to coffee breaks. I miss going home knowing that I was able to accomplish a lot of work in a day. But surprisingly, I don’t want to go back to the corporate world. It’s definitely a different world now.

Next is my growing fear of not being able to go back to work without me being able to do anything about it. It’s because I don’t think it is advisable for me to go through the hiring process with my stomach bulging. That means I have to wait a couple of months before I can seriously start looking for a job. Yes I love staying at home, attending to my family’s needs and believe it or not earning big (though big is a relative word), but then I realized I am more productive when accompanied with all of those, I am still pursuing a career. Besides, my social life is dying, though I am not really sure if it’s because of literally staying at home and not going out of our condo or because of zero SMB lights nights due to my pregnancy.

Another frustration is not being able to do my beauty regimen. That includes hair relax, body spa and massage, facial and a whole lot more that I am not willing to divulge. (haha!) Imagine I can’t even wear my favorite perfume because I hate the smell of it now. Not even my favorite St. Ives facial wash. I am just so thankful that my nose hasn’t ballooned yet, no pimples showing and my neck hasn’t changed its color. But then again, I don’t feel confident about myself.

This baby is really teaching me the value of patience and has been keeping me on my toes for what could happen in the near future. As of now, all I could really do is WAIT WAIT and WAIT and have the most of what I am enjoying right now… which surprisingly is a bit depressing.

• There is no such thing as ENOUGH time spent with children… the more you spend time with them, the more you realize they need more of your presence and attention.
• To know them is TO BE with them.
• Asking someone to look after your children is delegating a very big responsibility.
• You will never run out of errands at home, from bills to grocery to repairs to processing papers… the list goes on…
• Not because you’re the parent and you provide everything your children needs mean that you should push your children to follow all the rules you set at home. Be flexible enough to adjust the rules based on your child’s personality and environment he’s exposed to, without of course sacrificing the values you want to impart. Sometimes all they need is understanding and everything will be ok.
• Patience is really a virtue.
• Looking after and taking care of your children brings out the best in them, not the material things that we thought would matter.

I know I’ll be learning a lot more the coming months ahead. Yes it’s not easy to give out all your effort and time serving your children and husband but I am happy that I’m doing it and I believe soon I will see the positive effects of me being at home.

I remember when I was a kid, I was also hyperactive. It was difficult for me to remain seated (if I do sit at all) and keep quiet. Falling or being stuck is a normal scenario to me. I even locked myself once in the bathroom with no keys to open the door. 

When I was in Grade 1, I remember my mom crying and talking to my school adviser. I should have been the first honor, but thanks to my conduct which was B-, I was disqualified in the honor roll. (gosh… now I understand how frustrated my mom was). All throughout my elementary and high school days, although I was consistently in the top 10, I was always noisy and talkative. (To think that at that time, I was wondering why I was not getting a Christian Living award! Poor me.) During recess, I don’t want to spend time with studious and behaved girls. I’d rather go with the happy-go-lucky brood. (Aw! That is why I prefer playing with boys).

Now that I have a degree and have a decent job, I still do experience misdemeanors. At work, when I don’t like what I’m doing or didn’t like the person I am working with, I tend to be inefficient, emotional, display low self-esteem and worry about being judged.
I also have problem focusing on work when I have something in mind and I want to do it right away. These symptoms push me to be impulsive and well change jobs frequently. (haha! Plus the fact that I get easily bored when I get used to my responsibilities).    

Am I saying that I had and still have ADHD? I don’t know and wouldn’t want to know. I guess its too late for me to undergo therapy or even medication. And so far things are going great for me, except for some difficulties at times. All I want to tell you is that before we “brand” a person, specially kids as “pasaway, makulit o tamad,” let us give the person a chance to be understood. (I’m guilty with this!)