I am slowly getting over the bad feeling I had with Colegio San Agustin and some of its educators. They recommended Marcus to be transferred to another school because of his behavior. It pains me because some students would repeat grade level several times or attend classes every summer while Marcus who doesn’t study much never gets a failing mark. He even gets very good grades in major subjects like math and science and yet he was ‘kicked-out’. I must admit he’s really a handful but we never tolerated all those bad actions that he did. I just thought that my efforts in explaining to concerned personnel that Marcus was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD wouldn’t turn out to be a futile attempt. The teacher was telling me that I could ask the Principal (a foreigner priest) for a reconsideration. What for? For me and my son to make promises to him and make my son feel that he is a terrible child. Never mind.

I know that one factor that made matters worse was when a parent wrote a letter to the Principal and PTA Officers to petition Marcus out of the school, treating my son like a monster. The adviser admitted that the parent was a bit over-acting. I humbly asked the adviser that I am open to a discussion so that the parents could hear my and my son’s side of the story. They didn’t ask for one which made me more convinced that those parents didn’t care a bit about my son.

I would have wanted to pull-out Zach as well but Zach was doing good and he likes the school so I cannot really sacrifice that just because I had a bad experience with my other son. But given the chance, I really would.

I just have a few message to those parents and concerned CSA educators;

1. I thank you because you made me realize that I shouldn’t have entrusted my son to CSA in the first place. I just thought that I enrolled my son to the best school within the vicinity. I was so wrong. Australian International School (previously Esteban school) is way way better than your curriculum and more importantly in how they handle children like Marcus. Marcus’ class is composed of less than 15 students. In Grade Six they are taught World History (instead of repeating Philippine history every year), Spanish or Mandarin, computer programming and advanced lessons in major subjects. They offer clubs without additional fee so now Marcus plays soccer and basketball on top of his PE. They believe in Marcus and they never branded him.

2. To the parents. You may have succeeded your way of protecting your child from one bully (which is what they think of Marcus), without thinking about my child’s future. Let me just remind you that there will always be a bully around your child, even after school. Protecting him/her that way will make your child weak and dependent. My child is not a monster. ‘Bullies’ need help not judgement from people like you. Besides, we’re doing something about Marcus’ condition. He doesn’t want to be like that.

3. To CSA, what about your anti-bully campaign? Is it to kick those bullies out instead of helping them? Or are you just scared of letting the ‘more powerful parents’ down. Letting them ‘bully’ you.

I don’t say Marcus has changed a lot already. It will be a process. But I can see that AIS family loves him. I pray that it will finally be Marcus’ second home.

Kumon is effective if you enrol your child for the right reasons. I used to think that Kumon is teaching Math the wrong way because its worksheets, as if, require the child to memorize the answer instead of doing the right calculation. But when someone told me that Kumon has helped her child, I gave it a second thought. So as soon as summer vacation started last year, I went to a Kumon center to enrol my boys. Unfortunately, I have to wait for an orientation before I can enrol them. Besides, they told me that Kumon is not a short term activity and would at least need a year for you to realize its benefits.

Before 2010 ended, I reconsidered enrolling my boys to Kumon for a different reason this time. Both of them are glued on tv or computer games that they need to have something worth while to do everyday. I chose math not because they need help on that subject, (actually both of them are good at it thanks to their parent’s genes hehe) but because I want them to be confident with it and hopefully do advanced Math in no time. It would definitely help them minimize time doing calculations during exam and have more time analyzing. Also, when time comes that they have to take entrance exams, math would be a piece of cake.

So for those who are still wondering if they should enrol their child or not, here are some things one should consider:

1. Kumon is not a quick fix, if your child badly needs help and is failing already, he needs a tutor not Kumon.

2. It is not a short term activity. You cannot just enrol your child for a few months (like summer vacation) and expect to see improvement.

3. It is a commitment to both child and parent. Kumon requires the child to attend twice a week sessions and answer worksheets everyday for them to master the subject matter in terms of speed and accuracy. (It makes sense because Math is perfect Science and that practice makes perfect). So if you don’t have time to ensure that kids attend their sessions and do their daily worksheet, it defeats the purpose.

4. Once enrolled, your child usually starts two or more levels below his actual school level and as a parent you should not be alarmed. Like for instance he’s already doing fractions in school, he may start with addition first because in terms of speed and accuracy he has not mastered it yet. (Level is identified through a diagnostic test).

5. It is not a substitute to regular school.

Lastly, I suggest you attend the orientation so that all your questions will be answered. But for the mean time, I hope this article somehow helped you realize if you have the right reason/s to enrol your child.

Any idea how much it cost us Marcus’ enrollment, school supplies, books and uniform? It was in whopping 6-digit! That’s how much Gary and I value education. We are willing to give the best that we can and even sacrifice some just to be able to enroll our children in a good school. One thing that frightens me though is the thought that my children will think that we are rich when in fact we’re not. This fear heightened when I attended the New Parents’ Orientation. I was with parents who were either foreigners or coming from a well-off family. I was not insecured, but my son could be with these wealthy children around. How will I explain to my son that he’s already lucky being given the chance to be enrolled in that school and living the life as these people do is another story. If these parents can give their children P500 or more daily as allowance, we can’t and we won’t. How can we convince Marcus to get the most of what that school provides in terms of learning when all he could possibly see and hear is that his classmates, even buddies, are fetched by expensive SUVs, provided with up-to-date toys and gadgets, lives in Forbes or Dasma and travels to different countries every vacation. I can’t help but ask, have we really made the right decision? Well, I am hopeful. With me and Gary around to monitor our son’s every move, I think we’ll be able to guide him and instill the values that we would want to impart. Besides, once in a while we give our children what they want and let them experience good things in life just as long as they are responsible enough to do the things expected from them. Above all, we continuously seek God’s help in all our decisions and in everything that we do. So for new parents out there… start saving now!

Gary and I literally started out with nothing. We began our journey as a couple full of love in our hearts, plans on our minds but a few cents on our pockets. It was Gary who initially felt financial pressure as he was about to support a studying wife and a growing son. Ten years after, we could only laugh at the struggles we had just to have a decent life. That, I think, is the advantage of experiencing life’s challenges rather than having everything in place from the very start. Well it may not necessarily work for every couple, we were just fortunate and blessed that a lot of our sacrifices paved way to a better life. A better life for me now doesn’t mean that I am rich enough to stop working and stay at home to watch over my kids. My husband and I still have to work hard to be able to take home enough monthly salary. Neither does it mean that all our needs are already met that we need not buy anything anymore. It’s all about seeing our kids experience life a lot better than my husband and I did when we were young. Our kids are not aware that what they are getting right now cannot be easily provided by a minimum waged earner. And that selflessness is a virtue that we as their parents have learned over the years. Yes! We can now buy a lot of things that previously we felt guilty about, or that we cannot really afford. No! We’re not rich as not to think twice before we spend our cash. But with God’s blessings and continuous hard work, we’re getting there.